We all have favourite songs, those that you listen to once and instantly want to hear again. It plays on repeat over and over again until you finally shut it off from hating it too many times. But then we have songs that never get old, because they made such an impact on our lives we will never hate it. It’s music that changed our lives.

I’ve taken a stroll down memory lane recently, and found myself listening to songs I hadn’t heard since I was teenager, 13 and rebellious, trying to figure out who she was. My past is filled with rather low moments, but the one thing that always got me through it was music. Headphones, sitting on my bed, letting the music take me places that was anywhere but the darkness I was currently stuck in.

A song that got me through my teen years. I started seeing a psychiatrist at age 11, one who was the absolute worst, who I’m not even sure why he was in the profession in the first place. He told me harming myself was the better option simply because “I wasn’t doing drugs or getting pregnant instead”. What kind of doctor says that?! I hit some pretty low points during those years, and one song in particular stood out above all else. Demi Lovato’s Skyscraper made me feel like I had a voice, and a passion. I didn’t have to let myself be tangled in the dark and dreary days of life. I had it in me to fight back, and take my own path in the world.

Okay let’s have a happy song now, shall we? A song that came to me while I was in a good place, and sent me to even happier places. I had taken a couple years to take a step back and find myself, as a now independent adult. Things were really starting to fall into place, but I couldn’t help but feel I was missing something important. One Foot reminds me of just that, to put one foot in front of the other, keep going because great things are waiting for you on the other side.

Dreams are very important. The represent what we need (or don’t need) in our lives when we aren’t in the mood to listen. They tell us what we’ll need to know, or give us insight on a problem that’s been bugging us. If you’re into this, dreams can be prophetic, a vision of a future that’s yet to come. Dreams are the basics of reality. Here is a snippet of the lyrics that made an impact on my life; a section of a speech by Alan Watts, who has some fantastic work worth giving a listen. “you understand black implies white, self implies other, life implies death / you can begin to feel your own existence as absolute fundamental”

When I first listened to this song, I was in a battle in my mind, fighting off the forces of psychosis as a result of extreme anxiety. I was hallucinating, delirious, manic and depressed. Honestly not a great time in my life, but I sure learned a whole lot. Those months forever changed the way I think and see the world. The lyrics that stand out to me the most are “But I hear sounds in my mind, Brand new sounds in my mind / 'Cause honey I'll come get my things, but I can't let go

I'm waiting for it, that green light, I want it”

Sorry to leave you on a sad note, but this song. Good gosh darn, I wish I could swear on here because this is one heck of a song. The beat, the drums, the piano, the vocals, the lyrics- it means so much more to me than I care to admit. You’re probably wondering why I called it a sad song. Not everyone can say they’ve hit rock bottom. At age 20- I hit mine. I am 110% sure I could not go any lower than where I was back then. Yes- this song played as I was seconds away from killing myself. It takes a certain kind of journey to get where I and many others have gone. Of course I  do not recommend you try to get there, but those who have, you understand what this path feels like. It’s not just depression, it’s torture every second of the day, it’s feeling so inhuman you’re not sure you even existed in the first place. It’s a song that led me through the darkness of rock bottom, it took me on a journey I needed to go through. Feel the song, in your mind and spirit, especially that very last “Hello”, yelled out to the world.